In a world dominated by men, Linda Smith encourages women to use their feminine tactics in and out of the boardroom. Her new book, Smashing Glass & Kicking Ass: Lessons From The Meanest Woman Alive, is her idea of a life playbook, written by a woman for women.
For Smith, who spoke recently with Occupy.com, the #MeToo movement is just a passing phenomenon.
“It’s inevitable that at some point, no matter what career path you follow, you’ll be faced with sexual harassment from a colleague, superior, or customer,” says Smith, who believes that the true way to equality is when women step up and come to terms that they are far superior to men, especially when it comes to leadership tactics.
Smith's main idea stems from corporate research studies that have shown women outperform men in 11 out of 12 facets of emotional intelligence. Smith insists that women should use this “hard business skill” to their advantage.
“Women need to understand that we have the superior emotional intelligence, and we can harness our unique feminine advantages to advance our careers,” says Smith.
Her formula indicates three ways for women to use this trait: reading minds, playing well with others, and understanding how emotions influence decisions to get ahead of the current male-dominated curve.
But it’s not that easy, she admits. Women are still afraid to even speak up in the workplace. Their fear of having their opinions discredited or having their ideas hijacked by the so-called "dominant" male holds them back. This, Smith says, is the fault of evolution.
“Men are compelled to display their supremacy by seizing control of groups whenever possible. Women are trying to accomplish something entirely different, and tend to default to different conversational rules,” she says.
Her solution is to remember a few simple rules to combat fears in a woman’s head: “Stop deferring to men, stop listening to that negative internal voice that’s holding you back, stop using weak or apologetic language, stop presenting yourself as less than confident and stop trying so hard to be liked.”
In Smashing Glass and Kicking Ass, Smith's main argument is that exuding confidence, being competent and being assertive can change the way a fellow male colleague looks at you. These simple skills can be a road to feminine success, especially when a woman want her male colleagues to see her as someone who's easy to work with, not just someone who is easy on the eyes.
“A woman’s attractiveness is not skin deep,” says Smith, and if a woman works on improving her personality by preventing that incessant voice in her head from getting the better of her, she’ll be able to see herself as empowered and radical.
This also takes us back to how Smith got her moniker, "the meanest woman alive.”
“My view of 'mean' is a woman being strong and brave, and that’s exactly what I am for my clients,” says Smith, who thinks of herself as a gladiator – someone who never loses control and never tolerates disrespect. Business for her is cutthroat, demanding and dangerous.
“I’m actually a very fun person – unless, of course, you cross my clients or me.”
If more women follow her approach, she believes, the world would see women as something more than just the stereotypical submissive gender stereotype. For Smith, the stereotype is a result of fear, revealing where evolution kicks us again. In her reading, when Eve was sentenced to bear the pain of childbirth and Adam the hardships of manual labor, a gender bias was built.
Now, the demands of society have pushed it a notch higher. “Does society demand that a man have a successful career, maintain the household, nurture and be present for the kids, always be available as a sexy lover, and make it all look easy? Of course not,” Smith says, adding that it would be a crude joke if it wasn’t something women actually face every day.
She realizes that losing the fear that's been ingrained into women is far from easy. If only it were as simple as changing the way women think, she ruminates. But her rulebook covers this, too.
“Become conscious of your thoughts, stop and notice what triggers those thoughts, turn off the endless internal script that plays in your head when confronted by a triggering event and finally fill your mind with controlled and conscious thought,” says Smith.
Women should take control of the way they think by reminding themselves that the critical voice that’s opposing them is all in their heads, she adds. Once women master how to think confidently, without fear and with conviction, their thoughts will seem like mere hurdles to leap past.
“Remember that everyone has issues," she cautions. "Don't let yours detract from all that you are. Embrace them, and yourself.”
You can purchase Smashing Glass and Kicking Ass: Lessons From the Meanest Woman Alive here.
